It's Autumn and as the leaves are changing colour and falling from the trees I'm reminded of how sometimes we all need to take stock of the need for change in our lives and decide which habits and stories we need to leave behind in order to grow into this next season of life.
Trees understand this. They know that they can't continue to water and nourish their leaves throughout winter so they pull back and stop sending nutrients to them in Autumn, which is why they change colour and fall away. They know that in order to survive they need to let go. So do you.
Understanding what habits, processes and stories you need to let go of are essential for making room for the growth of the new you. Sometimes you need to let go of something to add something new in.
So here are a couple of powerful questions for you.
In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear talks about how we can go about changing our habits on three levels:
Level 1: Change Your Outcomes
This is all about changing your results, losing weight, getting fitter, writing a book etc.
2: Change Your Processes
This level is about changing your habits and systems, new routines at the gym, diet, nutrition plans, daily exercises etc.
3: Identity Habits
This level is concerned with changing your beliefs about yourself and others, your worldview, your self-image, and your stories.
- Outcomes are what you get
- Processes are about what you do
- Identity is about what you believe to be true
When it comes to building habits that last all levels are useful, it's the direction of the levels which matters most for long-term change. If you start with a level 1 to 3 you are focusing on outcome-based habits and what you want to achieve. The alternative and more powerful way is to focus from 3 to 1 so start with focusing on who you wish to become.
The problem with starting with levels 1 to 3 is we are just focusing on outcomes and processes; 'I just want to be skinny or weigh x by doing y' this is setting goals without considering the beliefs (or stories) that drive the actions. They don't realise the old identity can sabotage the plans for change.
"It's hard to change your habits if you never change the underlying beliefs that led to your past behaviour. You may have a new goal and plan, but you haven't changed who you are." James Clear
When you are trying to move forwards with making healthy changes in your life sometimes you need to assess those habits, people or behaviours which aren't serving you, is it time to let go of them? Are you holding onto them because you're scared to let go? What are those stories and beliefs you consider to be part of who you are and what you believe?
The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity. It's on thing to say i'm the type of person who wants this, it's very different to say i'm the type of person who is this.
It's the difference between someone saying 'I'm trying give up smoking' to 'I don't smoke'. The first response assumes the believe they are still a smoker and they are hoping their behaviour will change. The second statement is an identity based signalling a shift in identity. They no longer identify or believe the story that they are a smoker.
What stories or beliefs do you have about yourself that need to change for you in this season of your life?